Epilepsy affects everyone in the family, not just the person with seizures. Reactions of family members to a diagnosis of epilepsy can range from denial to acceptance. Many other feelings can surface, including:

• Fear
• Helplessness
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Jealousy
• Resentment
• Overprotection
• Depression
• Guilt

Some of these reactions might surprise you, but they're not unusual. If you've noticed these feelings in yourself or others in your family, remember that people cannot control their feelings, just the way they act on them!

How well adjusted the person with epilepsy will be is strongly related to how the family adapts to the diagnosis. Recognizing one's feelings and learning to react appropriately is most important.

Not everyone in the family will feel the same thing. The feelings of a parent of an infant with epilepsy will differ from the feelings of the baby's 5-year-old sister, or the feelings of the wife (or child) of a man having seizures for the first time at age 32. And each of these people may have different feelings at different times.

How should we approach our situation?

Everyone in the family will benefit from learning the facts about the situation from the doctor or other resources, such as epilepsy.com. Becoming knowledgeable is especially important if the person with epilepsy has seizures that are difficult to control or also has problems with thinking or behavior.

In this kind of situation, family members need to discuss and air their feelings in a supportive, constructive, and nurturing environment. A family counselor or psychologist may be helpful. Support groups can be great, too. You may be able to find one in your area that is just for parents of children with epilepsy, for example, or for their brothers and sisters.

Topic Editor: Steven C. Schachter, M.D.
Last Reviewed:12/15/06